I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

Speak only if it improves upon the silence.

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

There are many causes I would die for. There is not a single cause I would kill for.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.

This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of the herd nature, the military system, which I abhor. That a man can take pleasure in marching in formation to the strains of a band is enough to make me despise him. He has only been given his big brain by mistake; a backbone was all he needed. This plague-spot of civilisation ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism by order, senseless violence, and all the pestilent nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism — how I hate them! War seems to me a mean, contemptible thing: I would rather be hacked in pieces than take part in such an abominable business.

If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

I think it would be a good idea! In reply to a reporter's question "What do you think of Western Civilization?"