One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

War is now a form of TV entertainment, and what made the First World War so particularly entertaining were two American inventions, barbed wire and the machine gun.

Even when I started in 1970, I knew that television was having a negative effect on our society.

If I existed 200 years ago, all the other farmers in my community would be like, 'That guy is worthless! He's sitting on a rock, jumping up like a frog, coming up with weird concepts and ideas, making faces, and combing his hair into a giant pastry.' It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.

To me, torture would be watching sports on television.

Seeing a murder on television can … help work off one’s antagonisms. And if you haven’t any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. 15 August 1966

One of television’s great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. 15 August 1966

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

Nuclear war would really set back cable.