No, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference. Monologue, 19 February 2007 (U.S. Presidents Day)

The Republicans are calling [this] a Wizard of Oz ticket... Cheney needs a heart, Bush needs a brain. On the Republican presidential candidates.

A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. […] At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time. Monologue, May 12, 2006