I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

George W. Bush has gathered around him upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography.

If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
WAS MUSIC

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are 'It might have been.'

Oh, she says well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore. Talking about when he tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope, 2005.

If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter if he was God or not?

A great swindle of our time is the assumption that science has made religion obsolete. All science has damaged is the story of Adam and Eve and the story of Jonah and the Whale. Everything else holds up pretty well, particularly lessons about fairness and gentleness. People who find those lessons irrelevant in the twentieth century are simply using science as an excuse for greed and harshness. Science has nothing to do with it, friends.

There is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre.

There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.

1492. The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them.

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.

Perhaps, when we remember wars, we should take off our clothes and paint ourselves blue and go on all fours all day long and grunt like pigs. That would surely be more appropriate than noble oratory and shows of flags and well-oiled guns.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.

In case you haven’t noticed, we are now almost as feared and hated all over the world as the Nazis were.

I am too lazy to chase down the exact quotation but the British astronomer Fred Hoyle said something to this effect: The believing in Darwin’s theoretical mechanisms of evolution was like believing that a hurricane could blow through a junkyard and build a Boeing 747. No matter what is doing the creating. I have to say that the giraffe and the rhinoceros are ridiculous. And so is the human brain, capable, in cahoots with the more sensitive parts of the body, such as the ding dong, of hating life while pretending to love it, and behaving accordingly: Somebody shoot me while I’m happy!

Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it, and I think it can often be poisonous.

Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.

Anyone who cannot understand how useful a religion based on lies can be will not understand this book either.

I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it’s a very poor scheme for survival. 27 December 1987

The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected. About George W. Bush

What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.