Dancing: The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you.

Patriotism is, fundamentally, a conviction that a particular country is the best in the world because you were born in it.

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe any one else.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.

Islam is the best religion, with the worst followers.

If you have an apple and I have an apple, and we exchange apples, we both still only have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea, and we exchange ideas, we each now have two ideas.

But what if he were to have your brains and my beauty? To a woman who wrote to him that she wanted to have children with him - "think of the child with your brains and my beauty."

Democracy is a system ensuring that the people are governed no better than they deserve.

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.

In heaven an angel is nobody in particular.

Virtue consists, not in abstaining from vice, but in not desiring it.

People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.

You see things as they are and ask, "Why?" I dream things as they never were and ask, "Why not?"

Martyrdom, sir, is what these people like: it is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.

War does not decide who's right but who's left.