"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."

"Listen, three eyes,", he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."

"If I ever meet myself," said Zaphod, "I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me."

"Well, just who do you think you are, honey?" flounced the insect quivering its wings in rage, "Zaphod Beeblebrox or something?"
"Count the heads," said Zaphod in a low rasp.
The insect blinked at him. It blinked at him again.
"You are Zaphod Beeblebrox?" it squeaked.
"Yeah," said Zaphod, "but don't shout it out or they'll all want one."
"The Zaphod Beeblebrox?"
"No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?"
"But sir, I heard you were dead."
"That's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet."

"I'm so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat inside me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis."

"If I had two heads like you, Zaphod, I could have hours of fun banging them against a wall."