If you are going through hell, keep going.

Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

If I'd lived in Roman times, I'd have lived in Rome. Where else? Today America is the Roman Empire and New York is Rome itself.