May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I sure as hell won't.

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.

We have the finest food, the finest equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. Why, by God, I actually pity those poor sons-of-bitches we're going up against. By God, I do.

Standing on the bare ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God.

The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired.

Mathematics is the language with which God has written the universe.

God has a special providence for fools, drunks, and the United States of America.

It is the perfection of God's works that they are all done with the greatest simplicity. He is the God of order and not of confusion.

If God does not exist, one will lose nothing by believing in him, while if he does exist, one will lose everything by not believing.

When god created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

What I have done is to show that it is possible for the way the universe began to be determined by the laws of science. In that case, it would not be necessary to appeal to God to decide how the universe began. This doesn't prove that there is no God, only that God is not necessary. (1988-10-17)

If I was a religious person, I'd be Roman Catholic, because if there is a God he must be Italian.

"It goes like this. Let's see now: 'Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen.' That's it. It's what you pray silently inside yourself anyway, so you may as well have it out in the open."
Arthur: "Hmmm, Well, thank you - "
Old Man: "There's another prayer that goes with it that's very important, so you'd better jot this down, too."
Arthur: "OK."
Old Man: "It goes, 'Lord, lord, lord...' It's best to put that bit in, just in case. You can never be too sure. 'Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Amen...' And that's it. Most of the trouble people get into in life comes from missing out that last part.'" - Old Man Oracle's prayer given to Arthur Dent

"We apologise for the inconvenience" God's Final Message to His Creation

In the absence of any other proof, the thumb alone would convince me of God's existence.

You must wager; it is not optional... Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God exists... If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists.

We understand nothing of the works of God unless we take it as a principle that He wishes to blind some and to enlighten others.

We could call order by the name of God, but it would be an impersonal God. There's not much personal about the laws of physics.

So Einstein was wrong when he said "God does not play dice". Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that God does play dice, but that He sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can't be seen.

Be strong, believe in freedom and in God, love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people by their religion, color or sexual habits, love life and your family.

God, I'm glad I'm not me. Said when reading a newspaper article about himself. (1967)

In every man's heart there is an emptiness that only God can fill with his son Jesus Christ.

What must I do? I see nothing but obscurities on every side. Shall I believe I am nothing? Shall I believe I am God?

God is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and circumference is nowhere.