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Woody Allen Quotes
62
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Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
Woody Allen
Love
,
Sex
Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
Woody Allen
Life
,
Death
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody Allen
Life
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
Without Feathers
Death
Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
Annie Hall
Sex
Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.
Woody Allen
Army
It's true I had a lot of anxiety. I was afraid of the dark and suspicious of the light.
Woody Allen
Anxiety
Sex is only dirty if it's done right.
Woody Allen
Sex
To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen
God
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
Woody Allen
Confidence
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
Standup Comic
God is either cruel or incompetent.
Woody Allen
God
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Woody Allen
Life
,
Death
I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Woody Allen
Standup Comic
Sex
The key is, to not think of death as an end, but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
Woody Allen
Love and Death
There's an old joke... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life — full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness — and it's all over much too quickly.
Woody Allen
Annie Hall
Life
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
Standup Comic
Sex
I'm not a drinker — my body will not tolerate spirits. I had two Martinis on New Year's Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
Woody Allen
Standup Comic
Drinking
I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
Reading
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
Life
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Woody Allen
(born Allen Stewart Königsberg, 1935-12-01) is an American film director, writer, musician, actor, and comedian.
Nationality:
American
» American Quotes
Occupation:
Writer
» Quotes by Writers
Sources by Woody Allen
Standup Comic
Annie Hall
Love and Death
Without Feathers
Manhattan Murder Mystery
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