Woody Allen Quotes 62

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Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen Without Feathers

Don't knock masturbation � it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen Annie Hall

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.

It's true I had a lot of anxiety. I was afraid of the dark and suspicious of the light.

Sex is only dirty if it's done right.

To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Woody Allen Standup Comic

God is either cruel or incompetent.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Woody Allen Standup Comic

The key is, to not think of death as an end, but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.

Woody Allen Love and Death

There's an old joke... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life � full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness � and it's all over much too quickly.

Woody Allen Annie Hall

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Woody Allen Standup Comic

I'm not a drinker � my body will not tolerate spirits. I had two Martinis on New Year's Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

Woody Allen Standup Comic

I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

(born Allen Stewart K�nigsberg, 1935-12-01) is an American film director, writer, musician, actor, and comedian.

Nationality: American

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Occupation: Writer

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Sources by Woody Allen

Standup Comic
Annie Hall
Love and Death
Without Feathers
Manhattan Murder Mystery

Mark Twain
Kurt Vonnegut
Douglas Adams
Dale Carnegie
Carl Sagan

Oscar Wilde
Isaac Asimov
George Bernard Shaw
Albert Camus
Ray Bradbury

People
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The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
How To Stop Worrying And Start Living
Timequake
Cosmos
The Art of War
The Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci

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