Mark Twain Quotes
Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
There is something worse than ignorance, and that's knowing what ain't so.
Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it thousands of times
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
It does look as if Massachusetts were in a fair way to embarrass me with kindnesses this year. In the first place, a Massachusetts judge has just decided in open court that a Boston publisher may sell, not only his own property in a free and unfettered way, but also may as freely sell property which does not belong to him but to me; property which he has not bought and which I have not sold. Under this ruling I am now advertising that judge's homestead for sale, and, if I make as good a sum out of it as I expect, I shall go on and sell out the rest of his property.
He is a stranger to me, but he is a most remarkable man -- and I am the other one. Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known, and I know the rest.
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Land of religions, cradle of human race, birthplace of human speech, grandmother of legend, great grandmother of tradition. The land that all men desire to see and having seen once even by a glimpse, would not give that glimpse for the shows of the rest of the globe combined.
If you would have your fiction live forever, you must neither overtly preach nor overtly teach; but you must *covertly* preach and *covertly* teach.
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjectureout of such a trifling investment of fact.
Estimate of the total annual deposition of silt by the Mississsippi R.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American humorist and writer.
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