If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

They did not know it was impossible, so they did it!

I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

The loud little handful will shout for war. The pulpit will warily and cautiously protest at first…The great mass of the nation will rub its sleepy eyes, and will try to make out why there should be a war, and they will say earnestly and indignantly: "It is unjust and dishonorable and there is no need for war." Then the few will shout even louder…Before long you will see a curious thing: anti-war speakers will be stoned from the platform, and free speech will be strangled by hordes of furious men who still agree with the speakers but dare not admit it ... Next, statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

Never let your schoolin' interfere with your education.

It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes time and annoys the pig.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

Whiskey is for drinking. Water is for fighting over.

There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.